52 Mondays and Counting...

I hate Mondays.

I have always hated Mondays.  

I hate Mondays so much that they completely infect my Sundays.

Mondays are the embodiment of the marathon that I have run every week of my life since I started at my first corporate job over thirty years ago.

I ended up in a career in Hollywood that required homework every weekend of my life. So while much of the world clocked out at 5pm on Fridays, and didn’t think about work again until 9am on Monday, I was always figuring out when I would have time to get my work done on the weekends and then squeeze in the rest of my life.

IF I finished all of my homework, I would then take a mental survey:

Did I spend enough time with my kids and my husband? Did I finish running my errands? Did I get to the market to buy the food for the kids lunches/the dinners for the week? Did I get enough rest? Did I get to exercise? Because OMG tomorrow is Monday and I definitely won’t have ANY time to do those things until next Saturday!

When Monday hits, it is meetings, deadlines, reading, notes, memos, more meetings… meetings about meetings. Pressure.  Opinions.  Politics.  More deadlines.  It never ends. That’s corporate life.  Fluorescent lighting, overly air-conditioned offices, early mornings, late nights, high heels, suits and bosses.

I just can’t keep doing it.  I am tired.  Tired of the politics.  Tired of commuting.  Tired of dressing up every day. Tired of the grind.  Tired of the stress.  Tired of working every weekend of my whole life.  Tired of having a boss.

But here I am in the home stretch of a thirty year career. I am down to my last 52 Mondays of corporate life.

I can almost see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.  But part of me fears that that light is a bullet train coming at me. What am I going to do at the end of this year?  I have always dreamed of not working one day, but I can’t retire. I’m not ready.  I think I might actually want to work, if I can do it on my own terms.  But what does that mean? I had never done anything on my own.  I have had a boss my entire life.  

I am actually the last person in my family to have a boss.  ALL of them gave up having a “boss” to start their own businesses. ALL of them love what they do and have no interest in retiring.  ALL of them made the leap of faith that they could do it on their own. I, on the other hand, went from the structured environment of school right into corporate life.  I only know one thing:  Show up, be on time and work harder than anyone else. Maybe you’ll survive and if you are really lucky, maybe you’ll get promoted.  

But now it’s my turn.  

My turn to do something new.

Something on my own.
Something I am passionate about.
Something that fills my soul.
Something that I am good at.
Something that doesn't even require that I make a lot of money.

Sounds easy enough?

Ha!